Paper Roses
61
For the LOVE
My dear sister starbug5052 is a woman I do not know in life, but just recently through HubPages. Unbeknownst to her, she was used by God to bring a miracle to me as shared in my hub Is This a Miracle For Me?. Today I just read her most recent hub I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore and it couldn’t have been published at a more perfect time!
Once again, her hub truly ministered to my very core. I pray she knows that God is using her to touch this one life, if not multitudes of others through her pain and unfailing love for Him! I am going through the same feelings she is suffering, even at this very time. I wrote the first ten chapters of my life story on my Shepherd's Lamb profile, but haven't continued because it is very painful to revisit the past and face the reality of the present. Also, I feel responsible not to reveal the sins of my families and myself. I will share my story with those who need to know unto the glory of God! On the other hand, “anything you say can and will be used against you in Satan’s court of law”. We must understand that when we are in Christ, God sees us as spotless because of His Son. Our testimony is now a pearl of great price and not to be cast before swine.
In the beautiful song, “Why Me, Lord” shown in my hub “Is This a Miracle for Me”, the lyrics that wrenched my soul were these:
Try me Lord
If you think there's a way
I could ever repay
All I´ve taken from you
Maybe Lord
I could show someone else
What I've been through myself
On my way back to you
The song that was on my heart this morning was "Paper Roses" and I remember these words:
Paper roses, paper roses
O, how real those roses seemed to be
But, they're only imitation
Like your imitation love for me
A rose represents love. Love reaches the soul. Somehow we know instinctively who loves us and who doesn’t, based on responses. When there’s a lack of response, a self-centered response or one of provocation that comes from others, we know the “love” is not there. Actions truly speak louder than words.
Why was this song on my heart? Well, in a nutshell I feel like I never have truly known love in this world. When we know the love of God, the love from the world (even family and friends) will never compare! I do have brethren in the Lord that are like the balm of Gilead to my soul, but I still long for that type of love within my family circle. For me, I seek to know a heart relationship with family, not just “lip service” or “check-writing”, “gift-giving” or “fair weather” love. Let me tell you something; when you are at your lowest, you’ll KNOW who your real friends are. Those who ignore you speak a lack of love through non-response. Jesus is our real friend!!!
When I confront the truth about my past and even the repercussions that still run rampant today I end up feeling empty, hurt, alone and scared, but mostly guilty for speaking up! Not confronting the issue(s) only puts a band-aid on a festering wound. It’s easier to let go of the past when it’s removed from your life. However, if the sin and sickness still remain active through the actions of people in your present circle, it’s nearly impossible to heal. Do we want a one-sided relationship rather than no relationship at all? Think about it.
When I begin to feel guilt and condemnation, I seriously look at how I’ve treated each and every person involved to analyze my responsibility as it correlates to their behavior. If I am responsible, I must own up to it and do what I can to make it right. For instance, God showed me that to be HURTFUL with my words while confronting others is doing unto them as they've done unto me! I had to repent of that and ask those who've hurt me to forgive me for being hurtful! If I have done all I can in obedience to the Word of God and still feel responsible or guilty, I am not to receive that lie of condemnation, by the blood of Jesus Christ! There is therefore now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus; amen!
Truly, when the Lord is not the Lord in the heart of the family from the beginning, all kinds of sinful and destructive results manifest in everyone’s lives; the consequences remain like a haunting ache for years. The wisdom of the Lord says this: “Do not ache for the love of the world, for the love of family and friends, more than you ache for the love of God.” However, as we grow in the Lord, the more we will see ourselves and the world as He does. We can grow, but it doesn’t mean family and friends will, too. In fact, the more one heals and gets closer to Jesus, the greater the chasm between him/her and those who choose not to grow and may, in fact, wax worse.
I was a foster child moved around in different homes, split up from my sisters and brothers because of rampant sin. Everyone was scattered and all of us abused and used. I was also a run-away as Starbug5052, so I understand her!! Thank God she has a husband who is standing by her through everything. God is our Husband also. I am single and so I am thankful for my heavenly Husband to come home to. The Holy Spirit is my Comforter.
It is a very lonely place when friends and family exchange paper roses. We’ll exchange them right back until we decide we don’t want any part of it. Satan speaks through people (whether they actually speak or simply scream through silence) ~ even those who claim to "love" us. Jesus knows this heartache when He said, "My people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me." It's empty and fake. What I must do is analyze what comes from the lips or actions of those who supposedly “love” me: do their words speak life or destruction? Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). This is how we know the Spirit of God and the spirit of Satan. Surely, there are words and actions we or they may not want to hear or experience, but if they are truthful they will bring life! Satan’s words will cause us to tremble, doubt, fear, be anxious, have a low self-esteem, and tempt us to give up.
If you hear or receive a message from Satan, speak the OPPOSITE to your mind! Satan says, “You are weak”; God says, “I am strong”. Satan says, “You are sinful and filthy”; God says, “You are forgiven and washed clean”. Satan says, “You won’t survive”; God says, “I am the LIFE”. Satan says, “You are not worthy”; God says, “I died for you!” Need I go on?
As you move forward, imagine God is delivering you from Sodom. As you confront your past and even the present and move out from it, don’t look back or go back under the delusion that things will be any different! Have you been able to change others thus far? Probably NOT. Are you chasing delusions? If someone repents, let them come to you! Sometimes even “repentance” is false when it is self-motivated and must be discerned instinctively. We are to forgive when someone repents; no questions asked. As you move out of Sodom, there will be spiritual flames behind you, for each person must be disciplined by God ~ hopefully bringing all to repentance. The battle is the Lord's.
True LOVE
One thing I have to remind myself of and need to say to all who relate is this ~ PLEASE DO NOT FEEL RESPONSIBLE for OTHERS. God is responsible for them; and they are responsible to Him. It is a conditioned response because of abuse (to feel that we are responsible for the issues...and responsible to fix everything). Even Jesus Christ was put to death, though He did everything perfectly RIGHT. Likewise, we cannot look to people to be responsible for us. Family members and friends failed me, didn’t protect me, and offered paper roses. Does that mean God wasn’t looking out for me since the day I was born? He was, praise Him! God is our Creator and joyfully takes the responsibility for our well-being, and because of this, we love Him! He told us we are not to love our families (or need them) more than Him ~ for in my opinion it is destructive to our souls! Never let man take the place of God, for man will FAIL. We FAIL. If there be any success in life, it is by the grace of our Father in heaven.
This world is not our home. We are in this world, but not of this world. Yes, we are imperfect. We are not saints, except by the blood of Jesus. However, this does not make us play the blame-shame-game with ourselves. He set us free and He can do this for every person who seeks Him. Give your broken pieces to the Lord and He will put them together in His time. I'm writing this message to myself and to anyone who needs this word today. I pray we will really “get it” and have confidence in our Lord's love for us and not fall under condemnation for letting go of those paper roses.
My heart bleeds with Starbug5052 and those like her ~ soul to soul ~ life to life. Oh Jesus, comfort your children and shed Your grace upon us! We pray for our family members and friends that need to really know You and thus know the Rose of Sharon…not paper roses. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.
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Those are words to ponder, brother No Body. Thank you and I love you, too! You've been such a tower of strength for me and I thank you so much for showing the heart of Christ to me. May God bless us all ~
Judah's Daughter,
This is an enlightening , wonderful, and heartfelt hub! You have made some excellent points here. You are right! It is natural to want to help others and truly a Blessing to do so. We must learn healthy spiritual boundaries. I say “when my helping is not helping, I‘m not helping! We do not want to become another dependency for someone. But we do want to reach out and touch ... We need to ask God to use us as a tool to bring about healing. But always acknowledge HIM as the Healer!
Great advice here; as you say “Never let man take the place of God, for man will FAIL. We FAIL. If there be any success in life, it is by the grace of our Father in heaven.” We must always give and allow God His place! Wonderful words of wisdom Here! Life is a continuing journey of learning. Paper Roses” what great insight! Just know that the LORD LOVES YOU and there is absolutely nothing in your life that has transpired He is not aware of. God’s healing also allows you to feel the suffering that Jesus endured for us! He The Great Physician stays close to your side! As you continue to walk in His Light He will allow every facet of your life to reflect the ever growing Light He has place in your heart! Thank you for sharing Blesssings
Hi sister DeBorrah ~ in my situation "man" offered to "help" in my time of crisis; however, the decision as to when or not to "help" became the "dangling carrot" and dilemma. Help must be sure and solid, not fickle and unsure. Looking to and trusting in man can weaken our wearied souls and disable us from making sound decisions (because everything we do depends on fickle man). When we turn to God and rely on Him alone we get solid direction and have no doubt. It's truly amazing. Yes, it's a grievous thing to feel encouraged, then greatly discouraged when we put our trust in "horses and chariots" (man) and it ends up feeling like quicksand.
Secondly, I've also helped a family member who simply says I haven't done enough? After giving thousands of dollars, I try to help while I'm bleeding, yet it's not enough. That's a bit discouraging, but God is able and willing to be our ever present help in time of need. He truly loves us and hears our cries, unlike man who may not "hear" with heart-felt ears. Thank you, Jesus for never failing, for true Love Never Fails. Amen!!
I want you to know that every Hub you write, is helpful to others!!! I always come to visit your Hubs for strength and inspiration!!! It makes my heart joyful to know there is someone else out here that believes like me!! May God always lead you and use you for His Glory!!!! My Girl!
I will keep going, drpastorcarlotta! I never know if I'm failing at times...but I do know God works all things together for good to those who love Him and we ARE called according to His purpose, which is to live in the Truth!! I thank you for your words of encouragement, your love and prayers. You are so wonderful and such a blessing to me and so many others.
Judah’s daughter, this again is true! Man is fickle and this is why I depend on the Lord! He is a constant dependable Friend and Omnipresent therefore I welcome Him wherever I go! When you know God knows your heart it is freeing! There is no need to prove, nor manipulate because He knows who we are. I fear God not man.
I must say I know what its like to have helped family as well as my church family without expecting in return. Well into the thousands... Yes, it is true! it is never enough for some… It will and can drain and deplete you. This is why I say one must have healthy boundaries. When you say “no” this is when you become acquainted with a whole new dynamic. Truth can be painful... I say this only for the sake of verifying the Lord knows that I can relate. I pray and respond not just for the sake of responding because I have learned that the Lord knows my heart and its intentions. I lean, trust and depend on Him. I know He will always take care of me as I live for His will in my life. I will not compromise my relationship with Him. The Joy that the Lord has given me is more precious than anything. I am eternally grateful! Therefore I acknowledge Him in all of my ways and I Praise and Thank Him for discernment! Again wonderful hub! Blessings
Bless you DeBorrah :-) I am thankful for confirmation by those who have walked through this place and share the testimony of our Lord's unfailing love and grace that is greater than anything this world has to offer. We are eternally grateful and walk in humility before Him. We are weak, but He is strong and loves us beyond what we can even imagine! We are not God and therefore cannot do all things for others, let alone ourselves. God made us this way so we must seek Him out and lean on His everlasting arms. Amen.
"Oh sister your hub has toouched ny heart in many ways. Thank You my dear sister. It was very inspiring and touching. So true. I am one person and your Hub help me realized that I can not help everybody but I can lift them up in prayer and sumbit it in God's hands. Love-Hugs and many prayers sister.
I love you Starbug5052. You have made me not feel alone. I know how needing family is paramount, sometimes because we view them as our responsibility. God tells us to provide for the needs of our own flesh and blood and we do what we can do, but when there's nothing left and the truth rears its ugly head, we have to face it head-on, yeild it to God and move forward to remain healthy. Even when we lean on family to help us in time of need and they don't or can't, God will see us through! We need healing and that takes time. He walks through every valley, and some of them are so deep, yet He never leaves us nor forsakes us. We might feel like we're leaving or fosaking others, but we are not God. He never leaves them nor forsakes them either. We all must look up!
This is a another beautiful and encouraging hub that truly ministers to the needs of people who've been abused.
I hope you don't mind me posting a link to this hub from my websites for all my fans who have suffered the lingering and ongoing effects of abuse in hopes they can find comfort and healing here.
And I pray that you and your sister find the peace, love and comfort in each other that you both seek, and that you are continually empowered to succeed in every area of life!
Much Love To You From Louisiana
Hi thefount, my dear brother! Oh, praise God for His faithfulness! I've been suffering with the ramifications of destructive words, actions and lack of action by those I put my trust in since the day I was born ~ it's a struggle of the soul, spirit, mind and heart. I confronted, set boundaries and am moving out from and beyond the place of Sodom (the past), re-reading God's message for me recorded here in this hub to help me stay focused.
Just this morning I caught Charles Stanley's message on television. I surely hope my sister Starbug5052 saw it, too!! It was about the power of words, actions and lack of action, and the long-lasting effects they have on our sense of belonging, sense of worth and competency. Our identities have been shaped by parents, employers or other "authority" figures. We must bring life to others; not destruction.
Knowing who we are in Christ assures us we belong, are worthy and competent! His Word brings life, not destruction! Our identity must be in Christ and it's quite alright to let out the hurts ~ by sharing. We then forgive and WALK AWAY!! That's what Charles Stanley said this morning! What a powerful confirmation! Our Father loves us, and we are whole in Him!
May the Lord use us to reach out and let the wounded know (who are no longer victims, in Jesus' Name) how to be set free from this destructive agony. Thank you for sharing this link with others; it blesses me to think we can be used to help someone else.
Charles Stanley is such a wise and powerful preacher. I really appreciate his ministry as well as yours. Keep up the great work. We are blessed to be a blessing... Thanks Again
Thank you brother. You speak words of life, challenge the reader to think unto life and I know you do your very best to please our Lord. He is the Parent we most want to please and because of Jesus, we are worthy, loved and valued. He is everything. And because we are His children, we are made complete in Him. God bless you abundantly and may the words of life indwell you wherever you go and in all that you think and do, unto His glory.
Hi Jonah's Daughter...as I read your hub I am reminded of the way that yours minister to us all. They come from the heart of someone who has geat compassion. You too have the gift girl.
Father I ask that you bless our Sister...reach deep into her heart and show her just how much she is loved.
Blessings as Always
Hi brother Quill ~ bless you so much. Comfort certainly comes from our family in the Lord, doesn't it? God's children are not like children of the world. One who sees compassion knows compassion and I also thank you for yours.
Through this trial I realize I tend to feel like a great mountain is crumbling upon my head, when in reality it is God moving that mountain and sheltering me through it's fall!
I think of Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." We truly cannot understand the who, what, where, when, why and how of God's ways ~ only that we must always keep our eyes on Him...and never lose faith or receive the condemning lies of Satan throughout the trial.
Joel 2:26-27 come to mind when we feel a great loss or see what's now behind us laid waste: "I will make up to you for the years That the swarming locust has eaten, The creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied And praise the name of the LORD your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; Then My people will never be put to shame." Jesus Christ took our shame, blame, guilt and burdens and has redeemed us to our heavenly Father, whereby we call Him "Abba" (Daddy).
God bless you, brother Quill and thank you for your prayers and edifying words of encouragement.
Oh yes JD, I receive that prophesy and blessing. Thank you so much for the much needed encouragement. My prayers are with you continually.
Wow, what a read first thing in the morning. This is the stuff I have been dealing with my whole life! What a deceiver satan can be. I was raised in a very dysfunctional way that left ALOT of baggage which of course I didn't even realize was there. I had a lot of issues with family members simply because growing up I wasn't sure who was who(mom = aunt, brothers = cousins, grandma = mom, etc,) my life was a little confusing to say the least. Then to top that off ninety percent of them are alcoholics and abusive. This affected everything. I had no trust, was afraid of rejections and very very codependant on others. I didn't grow up in a christian house, just the opposite, although I was introduced to church at 16 and was saved, I didn't live a saved life. I do however know that God was with me every second of my life or else I would have never made it through. What 10 year old can take care of herself and two other children in a house with no refrigerator or stove for sometimes as long as a week? Only one that has God beside them all the way.
As an adult I had issues with trust, even when I found my soul mate and married, I still couldn't trust or even feel love completely. This past June we had some very major problems and seperated and that is when I found God and the love he has for me. Through Gods love I have learned to feel and show love for my husband and know that trust is something that I do because I am Gods child and he is always with me and will care for me. My husband and I are on a whole new chapter in our lives with God as our leader and things are oh so much better!!! God is pulling all the crust off my old heart and revealing the true me that HE intended me to be. I know I suffered my past so he could make me a true servant of his and do his work with a LOVING heart.
I am still working through the family issues and getting rid of old hurts and pains. NOT easy but well worth it because as each old burden lifts, the load is lighter and your days are better. God has taught me forgiveness and what freedom there is in letting go and moving on!
God is just awesome and I want everyone to share in the joy he has to offer. Unfortunately one of the ones who hurt me the most is unwilling to give him a chance. I pray for my mom everyday and ask God to soften her heart towards him so she can enjoy the full benefits of living.
Judahs Daughter, I found your hubs through a link on nobodys hub page and feel God blessed me even more. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and love for God, your pain is a great testament for Jesus and I know your reward is waiting.
I love to love my God and find joy in him everyday no matter what this world throws at me, I know it is only temporary!!! My rewards wait in eternity and I look forward to spending it with you, my sister in Christ!!
Tammy, I sooooo appreciate your testimony! This is a place all of us can come together as strangers in the world, but sisters and brothers in Christ. We have family we've never known and are bound together in our Lord!
1 Peter 5:8-9 comes to mind now: "Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world."
It is so very painful to confront abuse by someone you love and need (i.e. a parent or child). That pain is great; however, I think of the Serenity Prayer now ~ to accept the things we cannot change, have courage to change the things we can. We can change ourselves because of Jesus ~ so we won't keep needing the ones who hurt us, thus compromising our souls and continuing the cylce of confrontation and pain over and over again.
Time will heal our hearts as we continue to stay in the Lord's love for us and do our best not to repeat the cycle within our own families!! You are precious in His sight and your testimony is a pearl of great price. I'm so encouraged that there was healing with your marriage!!
I understand the inability to fully trust others. When I used to date (I'm happier not dating presently), I found myself having sharpened discernment so as to pay attention to the motives of the heart. That's what it's all about. We don't want fair weather or "paper rose" relationships ~ love is of the heart and it all begins with Jesus. I've dated some who claim to be Christian, but the fruit is not there (i.e. pressuring for sex on the first date).
When we are abused most of our lives, we tend to migrate toward what's "familiar" ~ more abusers. God surely has a work of healing to do in the adult children of abuse. If it weren't for Him, we would have been destroyed. In fact, if we don't rely on Jesus daily, the damages done would still cause futher damage!! We have hope now to overcome and experience life and true love because of Jesus Christ!!
I join with you in thanksgiving for the "Rose of Sharon." No "Paper Roses" from Him. Thank you for your transparency and willingness to minister to others. To be sure the "place of our pain" often becomes the "place of our power. My dear friend, you are not alone. To be sure you have the Rose who never fails that you so beautifully spoke about and then you are a part of an enormous family of believers. You truly have a ministry that matters.
Oh Pastor! Your words are so comforting and encouraging to me! You have the Spiritual gift of ENCOURAGEMENT!! I respect you so much, for I know you have the knowledge and the Spirit that speaks life to my heart, soul, spirit and mind! I pray the Lord heaps blessings upon you as you do for His children!! I'm so glad to call you SISTER!!! I love you!!
This hub meant alot to me I too was ship around in different foster homes. It was a need for love that brought me to Christ Jesus that I never felt from my family and struggle to give to my kids. This was a very emotional hub for me, I related to it so well. Thanks for sharing.
Hallelujah to the Lamb, Who is Worthy, amen! He created us in our mother's womb, and we first must be born of water (our mother's womb) in order to be then born of the Spirit (our Father), whereby we are adopted into His family and call Him "Abba" (Daddy)! He is a Husband to the widow and a Father to the fatherless. He has always been with us and will never leave us ~ we are His eternally! Praise be to our Father through His blood of His image, His Son, Jesus Christ, whereby we are sealed until the Day of Redemption by His Holy Spirit in us! Amen!
Thank you for sharing your heart, from words of Truth.
I am a 'fixer', and too many times have to open my fingers, and hand 'it' to God. I too live in gratitude that God does know/perform best! Will have to come visit for more...
Hi frogyfish ~ I'm thankful this hub touched your heart! I do know about the "fixing"; I've been doing it most of my life. It's only when God allows life to be uncotrollable by me, I understand He's the One in control and always has been ~ this is the struggle between flesh and Spirit! AMEN. When we let go and trust God, the peace of God reigns in our hearts. God bless you, and thank you for becoming a fan!
no body Level 5 Commenter 2 years ago
I so agree with the statement that we can not fix anyone. It is God that gives the increase and God that causes the growth. We are responsible for ourselves to grow and to love others. We are to be obedient to God and follow His lead. If we are given a message for others He'll make it known to us. Our sin makes us fake from time to time. We must all purge away the dead and fake and cling to Life of the Lord Jesus Christ. I love you my sister.